Monday, February 21, 2005

 

Apes & Titties

Two fired caretakers for Koko, the world-famous sign-language-speaking gorilla, have sued their former bosses, claiming they were pressured to expose their breasts as a way of bonding with the 300-pound simian.
Honestly, isn't that whole "My monkey used sign language to tell me to tell you to take off your top" bit the oldest trick in the book?
Alperin and Keller were hired last year and were among 16 employees of the foundation, which was founded in 1976 to promote the preservation and study of gorillas. It is best known for Koko, who has mastered a vocabulary of more than 1,000 signs; the foundation says she has advanced further in language than any other non-human.
Advanced
further in language than any other non-human?!? Who was her other non-human competition in language studies? That dog that sounds like it's saying "I love you" at the beginning of The Beastie Boys "Sure Shot" video?
In addition to the alleged harassment, the two former workers claimed the Woodside facility had unsanitary and unsafe conditions, including rodents in the food preparation area and gorilla urine stored in the refrigerator where workers kept their lunches.
Why do I get the feeling this wasn't the freakiest thing going on in Sodom Francisco at that particular time?

And don't get too wrapped around the axle with the monkey/ape thing:

Willenholly: "Sorry. Don't shoot. Hold your fire."
Sheriff: "Who the hell are you?"
Willenholly: "Federal Wildlife Marshal. Is the monkey in there?"
Sheriff: "The ape."
Willenholly: "What?"
Sheriff: "Orangutan's a member of the great ape family. It's not a monkey."
Willenholly: "Look, who's the Federal Wildlife Marshal here? Me or you?"

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